Sometimes I want to do just this. Drop every dang thing and start a new. Take a risk and ride the waves. Why does society have such constraints that disallow me to actually do so? One could be a writer, an artist, a dancer, an astronaut, a lawyer, or a fighter if things were that easy. Sadly, they're not.
One can dream. I wish to someday just work for myself. It's never an overnight thing. It's a thing that takes time and patience as well as perseverance, time, and a constant flow of money. Every day you have to push to achieve your goals. When you fail you have to get up and continue moving.
I love failure. Failure is the sole thing that allows me to learn from my mistakes. I don't want a road map to success I want to figure it out on my own. If there's some guidance on the way from peers or Youtube videos, that's completely fine, but I would rather get that hands on experience. When I do it this way I know I'll feel way more accomplished and fulfilled than the latter.
I've been sitting on this metaphoric cliff telling me to just jump and go for it. Being 25 is definitely a factor for me because when I look back on my younger years I feel I had a better shot at shooting for the stars then than now, since I have other commitments attached to me. With a full-time job and a family to care for it all just seems so out of reach.
I have my days where I can make this mediocrity of everyday workout in my mind but executing it is so dragging and hard to endure. Some people like that, but I am not one of them. I like a challenge and also to enjoy the actual things I'm doing. Currently I'm in a field of work that doesn't suit my tastes and it's strictly for income. There are people at my job who I enjoy being around but my day doesn't consist of socializing with them so they aren't the reason I'm still there. I do have goals and ambitions for this job while I'm there but a lot of the time I find myself thinking that I would much rather be progressing somewhere else.
I always wonder, do I take the risk of no income for a while in order to reach my goals or do I just push day in and day out trying to force my exhausted body to get up early and stay up late to achieve my goals?
Tuesday, August 7, 2018
Monday, August 6, 2018
Sucking at Fortnite
I swear, Fornite is one of the most annoying games to try to get better at. My opinion stands with this as well as any type of battle royale genre. Especially, when you have things to do like go to work, go to school, or in general just have a lot of other things in life going on.
Gaming is great. It's the best outlet for anyone to just hop into for a few minutes or a few hours at a time. It just sucks when the expectation is to be GREAT at the games you enjoy.
Personally, I'm a casual gamer. Having a full-time job, a family, and other things in life to do just keep me away from the game when I really want to enjoy it and get better. Part of the reason I want to get better is because my friends are so good at it. Sometimes TOO GOOD.
There's this expectation for me to be great at it and sometimes my friends take it too far. I'm okay with a little bit of heckling here or there but after a while it just starts getting to me and I stop having fun. Obviously, I don't want to tell them to tone it down because then I'm just being a downer but I guess me getting in a bad mood makes the gaming experience even worse for everyone.
I try to play when I can and get better when I can but I feel sometimes it's just not worth it. It's a game; if you want it to be a profession for you in the future or even NOW I get it. Just, sometimes I feel people take the game too seriously and forget to have fun just fucking around with your friends or have fun getting totally dicked on in game.
Part of the reason why I say battle royales are hard to get better at is because of how often the RNG GODS shit on you. Oh hey look a gun! Wait, nvm, someone swooped in under me and stole it. Oh hey an smg! Wait, nvm, they just one pumped my face to oblivion. The game is SERIOUSLY irritating. Aside from playground mode and 50v50 there is almost no way for casual players to get better.
One has to remember though, casual players probably shouldn't be that good, but hey, someone has to complain about it.
Gaming is great. It's the best outlet for anyone to just hop into for a few minutes or a few hours at a time. It just sucks when the expectation is to be GREAT at the games you enjoy.
Personally, I'm a casual gamer. Having a full-time job, a family, and other things in life to do just keep me away from the game when I really want to enjoy it and get better. Part of the reason I want to get better is because my friends are so good at it. Sometimes TOO GOOD.
There's this expectation for me to be great at it and sometimes my friends take it too far. I'm okay with a little bit of heckling here or there but after a while it just starts getting to me and I stop having fun. Obviously, I don't want to tell them to tone it down because then I'm just being a downer but I guess me getting in a bad mood makes the gaming experience even worse for everyone.
I try to play when I can and get better when I can but I feel sometimes it's just not worth it. It's a game; if you want it to be a profession for you in the future or even NOW I get it. Just, sometimes I feel people take the game too seriously and forget to have fun just fucking around with your friends or have fun getting totally dicked on in game.
Part of the reason why I say battle royales are hard to get better at is because of how often the RNG GODS shit on you. Oh hey look a gun! Wait, nvm, someone swooped in under me and stole it. Oh hey an smg! Wait, nvm, they just one pumped my face to oblivion. The game is SERIOUSLY irritating. Aside from playground mode and 50v50 there is almost no way for casual players to get better.
One has to remember though, casual players probably shouldn't be that good, but hey, someone has to complain about it.
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